NEW YORK – Sycophants have Plaxico Burress' back, no matter where he turns. It's as if he has transported a gang of 300-pound offensive linemen, stuffed them in power suits, swapped their playbooks for legal briefs and mesmerized them with his shiny Super Bowl ring.

That some of these wannabe teammates draw paychecks from the Manhattan District Attorney's office is hardly surprising. Burress was, after all, on the receiving end of one of the greatest touchdowns in New York Giants' history. His fans are omnipotent, to the point where there have been serious internal disagreements within the DA's office over how to handle the criminal charges pending against the wide receiver, prompting NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to explore punishing Burress even while the case against him meanders along.

According to several sources close to the District Attorney, a few heavy hitters have lobbied hard on behalf of Burress, insisting he deserved special treatment because of his superstar athletic status. His crime -- accidentally shooting himself in the leg with an unlicensed gun, in a crowded New York nightclub – was luckily relatively harmless, they argued. And as ludicrous as that sounds, their voices were strong enough to slow the proceedings to a pace where it looked like Burress might actually play football this season, before he did any meaningful time before a jury.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. That's the mindset that Ron Artest has apparently taken following today's news that he's agreed to join Kobe Bryant in Los Angeles. Artest was instrumental in helping the Rockets take the eventual champion Lakers to seven games during the Western Conference semifinals. Instead of serving as Kobe's antagonist, he'll become Kobe's sidekick.

According to Ken Berger of CBS Sports, Artest met with Lakers owner Dr. Jerry Buss and spoke with Phil Jackson on Thursday before instructing his agent to get a deal done. Details of the agreement -- both the length and the amount -- are still unknown, but from the sounds of it, Artest isn't about to quibble over the details.

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It's still a Williams sisters world. That's the big statement from Thursday, when they both won to set up the big event: an all-Williams sisters final at Wimbledon. Again.

It's always a big event when they play each other, with the discussion covering their play, their clothes, their father, their attitude and whether they're deciding in advance which one will win. (The answers are: Serena better overall, Venus classy and Serena showy, weird but successful, good at the big moments and no.)

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NEW YORK – Don Wakamatsu spent seven years as a coach in the AL West before becoming manager of the Mariners.

So he had a pretty good idea about Felix Hernandez.

"I know in the past when I've coached against him, he'd coast it seemed like," Wakamatsu told FanHouse. "Or he'd rest. He'd pitch to certain hitters, or he'd pitch out of jams. But he hadn't been able to understand how to just keep the pressure on an opposing team. I think those are the things that you talk about that make a guy a champion."

Now it seems Hernandez has figured it out.

While most NBA draft picks are preparing for summer league play in Orlando and Las Vegas next week, rumors continue to swirl that Ricky Rubio may wait a year -- and perhaps even longer -- until he makes the jump to the NBA.

According to El Periodico, a Spanish newspaper, Rubio has already ruled out playing this coming season, and in fact plans to drop the lawsuit he filed against DKV Joventut, his current Spanish team, regarding his buyout clause, which he previously argued was too much money for what Joventut has been paying him.

Before fans in Minnesota get too upset, they should consider the source: El Periodico's report neither cites a source nor includes a byline -- this could be nothing more than re-hashed speculation that we've been hearing all week.

We've heard of a rain delay in baseball. It happens occasionally -- in fact, it's happened frequently this season. Something you don't quite see so often is the non-traditional, but still quite crowd-pleasing, bee delay.

Thursday afternoon, the Astros entered the ninth inning trailing the Padres 6-1. According to the Associated Press, Padres left fielder Kyle Blanks began moving toward the infield during Miguel Tejada's at-bat. After an umpire went out to see what the problem was, all players were pulled off of the field. Stadium security cleared out several sections of fans as well.

Not to pick on poor Calvin Pace, who claims today to be the latest NFL victim of those sneaky, nefarious over-the-counter supplements, but come on here, people. At what point is it fair to start calling out the NFL on the performance-enhancing drug issue? This guy's no superstar, but he's an important player on a New York team. The baseball equivalent would be somebody like Ryan Church on the Mets or Hideki Matsui on the Yankees. Imagine if one of those guys had been suspended today for steroids? Would ESPN even think about leading SportsCenter with anything else?

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Anthony Kim, the defending champion at the AT&T National, was off early this morning. And by the time tournament host Tiger Woods was starting his round, Kim had signed for an 8-under 62, a Congressional Country Club course record.

But Woods, who, according to the media, is either winning or in a slump, looked primed to do the former after a near-flawless round. Woods went out in 31, carding four birdies. He added three more on the back. And if not for a bogey on the par-4 11th, he would be alone in second place, one shot behind Kim.

Caleb Campbell, the 6-foot-1, 230-pound Army safety who the Detroit Lions selected in the seventh round of the 2008 NFL Draft, is currently training with the U.S. bobsled team in an effort to make the 2010 Winter Olympics team. It's quite the change of careers for Campbell, who had his NFL dream yanked out from under him at the last possible moment in July of 2008.

The Army's decision to reverse course and require Campbell to report for service, despite having implemented a 2005 exemption penalty, ignited a firestorm of debate. Now Campbell is training in Lake Placid, N.Y., while stationed at West Point. He has a new dream -- making the Olympic team.

While the military won't allow Campbell to pursue a career in the NFL until late 2010, they do have a policy in place that allows would-be Olympians to pursue their training as part of their military commitment. After being contacted by a member of the U.S. bobsledding team in July of 2008, Campbell has thrown himself into the training and pronounces himself in the best shape of his life. "Some days, it hurts to get out of bed," he says.

From the Windup is Matt Snyder's extended look at some aspect of America's pastime each Thursday.

This coming weekend, Major League Baseball will reveal its 2009 All-Star teams. So what better opportunity than this to run through a list of this season's "Anti-All-Stars." Anti-All-Stars is far too bland a name, though, so we decided to name the team in honor of Andruw Jones. After all, he was the poster child for guys not earning the lucrative contracts bestowed on them last season. We'll sort through each position and find the player who is least helping his team in comparison to expectations -- whether monetary or from management.

The Cavaliers traded for Shaquille O'Neal a week ago, but his introductory press conference didn't happen until Thursday afternoon. And for the most part, it was worth the wait. As we've come to expect when Shaq gets in front of a microphone, there were plenty of interesting and entertaining quotes that came out of his first meeting with the Cleveland media.

Shaq kicked things off by flashing the picture to your right, claiming that when he received the initial call from Cavs' GM Danny Ferry, he had to Google him, and when he did, this was the one of the first things to pop up.

Nice way to break the ice, Big Fella. Here are some more highlights from Shaq's first official day as a Cavalier.

Earlier this week, I lived out a dream by standing on the New York Liberty's home court inside an empty Madison Square Garden. I know, some guys have all the luck.

Oh, I also got to attend the 2009-10 Knicks City Dancers auditions. That was pretty exciting, as well. If you aren't familiar with "KCD," you should know that they are one of the most popular cheerleading squads in all of sports, for obvious reasons. Check out the video of my day with 80 KCD hopefuls below.

And the slog up to mediocrity continues for John Daly. Despite an offseason of introspection, fueled, in part, by the threat of bankruptcy, the struggles persist for two-time major champion. After a respectable showing at the St. Jude Classic -- he was never in contention but he made the cut (hey, it's a start) -- Daly was back in Europe hoping to build on his first first PGA Tour event after serving a six-month suspension.

Except that, lap-band surgery and clown get-ups aside, J.D.'s 2009 results on the European Tour look a lot like his 2008 results. Given all he went through last year, it's hard to say he's made progress.